Summer of COVID-19 is coming to a close. All of us have such ambivalent feelings about these last six months. Ranges of feelings have been experienced by all of us collectively around the globe. Hence, now is a great time to convene with the family and talk about some of the following emotionally resonant topics. We cannot underscore the importance of being able to talk about feelings as a pathway to creating trauma resilience. As we cultivate a strength-based approach, it is important for families to have a conversation that allows us to make a transition from one event to another. It might even be creative to use the whiteboard and have everyone contribute to the following questions:
What were some of your highs and lows of this COVID-19 summer?
What feels odd about going back to school?
What are you most excited about?
What are you dreading the most?
How can we help you create a space that allows you to flourish and be your best?
What do you need from us?
How can we as your parents and family support you?
As you have these very important conversations within the crucible of the family, keep in mind that families by nature, are very resilient entities. A family is very hardy, and as the parents aka “team coaches” your role in how this organization molds to the next stage is an important role and we offer some suggestions.
Keep a Strength-Based Approach in your Family
We know that families tend to thrive under a climate of catching each other being good. When we focus on the positive versus what isn’t working tends to make everyone bring out their best self. The challenges we have faced in this past year have truly brought us closer in some ways and many families are communicating in ways that are very different from what we had before. When we stopped running from activity to activity we may have gotten to know our children better and differently. Parents had a chance to “feel” the emotional pulse of their children.
Keeping a strength-based approach means focusing on what is important and what has been successful in the past. Take time to reflect on what has been working for the family dynamics. Put a lot of emphasis on the new things you ALL began to do that are different than before.
Cultivate Decision Making where all Family Members Participate in Decision Making
We know that fostering a sense of agency and a feeling that you matter is one of the traits that allow us to take up space no matter where we are in life. As parents, we are the primary people that cultivate this in the folks we are raising in our family. When a child or teen feels that their opinion matters, they learn to feel important and valued.
Make Kindness a Priority
Adapting kindness as a priority ensures that our children will go out in the world to do good. We can teach the importance of kindness through introducing and enforcing the power of empathy. Kindness, generosity, and empathy propagates and spreads. Acts of kindness are contagious and cause a ripple effect throughout our community and family. Simple random acts of kindness resonate in our lives and can teach our kids through a “show not tell” approach. Acting as an effective role model is one of the most important ways of teaching our kids how to prioritize the quality of kindness.
How can we Create Purpose in our Family?
We know that we all thrive when we have a purpose and feel that there is a higher reason why we are doing what we are doing. One does not have to be a part of a formal church or temple setting in order to infuse spirituality into the family. The definition of purpose is “intention”, and we can all create intention as we move through this next chapter of our lives, which is the first Fall of COVID-19. With all the events that have been occurring in the US, our teens, in particular, have become acutely aware of economic and racial disparities. We have seen young people take to the streets since their heart is touched, and are demanding action. It is a very good time for families to be talking about what “higher purpose” means and how you as a parent allow them to emerge in their own values about intentions they may want to set for themselves. As we see our roles as a Coach we will find that our children remain open to us if we listen better and not judge them.
Cultivating Resilience
One of the biggest topics discussed throughout this pandemic is the power of resiliency, what will recovery look like? Although family dynamics differ from house to house, there This basic needs that we can provide to create qualities of resiliency. Make your home environment nurturing by acting as your family’s number one support system. Listen to and value their concerns then provide the proper care needed. Strengthening your at-home support system provides higher levels of well-being and security. Provide multiple opportunities for your family to discuss their worries and concerns, come up with a game plan for combating these struggles. By doing this, we are working as a family to create new coping skills while reinforcing a safe space. Cultivating resilience is more manageable when we work together as a unit. #weareinthistogether
Be in a Mentor/Coach Role with your Children
It is such a natural reaction to want to tell our kids what to do since as parents we feel that it is part of our duty and commitment. Families that are firm, gentle, and authoritative bring out the best outcomes in terms of compliance with children. Children of stricter parents feel love and support because of the boundaries that parents are setting. Independence is a skill that develops if a parent is not over micromanaging the child. Autonomy can be fostered by allowing your children to make mistakes, not rescuing them, and honoring the value of failure. When you function as a coach you are presenting options AND allowing your children to make their own decisions. As a coach, you are less likely to get into power struggles with your children hence minimizing conflict. This creates a balance within the family dynamic.
Healthy Within is an integrative brain health center, experienced in incorporating neurofeedback to help people re-engage in their wholeness and wellness. We also help clients with ADHD, PTSD, depression, concussions, OCD, stroke, dementia and more!
Contact us for more information about how we can help you get your mind back to functioning at its calm, confident self.
