Let’s be honest, it’s time to leave New Year’s resolutions in 2020.
As we come upon February and we attempt to recalibrate, we all know that folks who made New Year’s resolutions are going to go off the wagon by Valentine’s Day! Think about the countless times you’ve heard someone rave about their New Year’s resolutions but give up on them within a few short weeks. Our brains have been primed to associate January 1st as a motivational fresh slate where we set unattainable goals only to become disappointed in ourselves within a month for failing to achieve them. It’s no wonder why gyms are packed in the month of January then empty again within less than six weeks. Many dive headfirst into their New Year’s resolutions without truly understanding the intentions behind their goals. We must try to understand the millions of dollars that have gone into advertising “a new you” since the shame of all the excess in December needs to be corrected. We must leave the motto “New Year, new me” in the past and adopt a more intentional mindset focused on sustainable habits and mindful practices.
Shame is a major driving force behind New Year’s Resolutions. There is a huge cultural shift that pushes us to have a huge, drastic change in the new year. With tiny, incremental changes, willpower is not being used and hence you are MORE likely to stick with the changes you are making. When some event requires a LOT of willpower brain research shows us that we will not sustain it and failure is highly likely.
Of course, this is not always easy. It is very common to look at other people successfully accomplish their goals and think to yourself, “what do they have that I don’t have?” People mistakenly believe that they are missing the willpower and self-control necessary to get to where they want to be. However, incorporating even the smallest new habits and a positive mindset into our daily lives can be the true key elements needed to become the best version of ourselves.
What can we do to maintain habits?
There are a variety of habits that you can personalize to your lifestyle. Whether it’s meditating, drinking water more often, or journaling, repeating any small behavior that works best for you will soon become effortless and make you feel more accomplished. Don’t take on a tough love approach with your habits. That increases the self criticism, self judgement and shaming.
1. Don’t take on too many new habits.
It’s natural for us to want to take on as many habits as we can. If shame is the driving force then we tend to want to do everything we can to get rid of that uncomfortable feeling. However, taking on too many new behaviors can subconsciously overwhelm our brain and make it too much for us to handle. Choosing just a couple of new behaviors to start with will make it easier to repeat and focus on in the future.
2. Make your habit enjoyable.
No one wants a habit to turn into a task. If walking on the treadmill seems like a dreadful experience, maybe walking in nature or listening to pop music during it transforms the experience into something you look forward to every single time. The more enjoyable the habit, the more likely you are to sustain it.
3. Find the best time for your schedule.
Waking up early before school or work to exercise may seem like the hardest thing to do so why force yourself to do something that doesn’t come naturally to you? Working out at night could be an easier option and make it more likely for you to accomplish. It takes some rearranging to find the best time for your habits but once you do, it all falls into place.
4. Adopt a mindful and optimistic mindset.
By shifting to a more self-compassionate mindset, you are less likely to be affected by any obstacles that arise and understand that you are only human. Continue being kind to yourself and noticing the blessings around you as you take on this habit-making journey.
At Healthy Within, we are committed to supporting the emotional health of our community. Healthy Within is an integrative brain health center, experienced in helping people re-engage in their wholeness and wellness. We help clients with anxiety, ADHD, PTSD, depression, concussions, OCD, stroke, dementia, and more with neurofeedback.
Contact us for more information about how we can help you get your mind back to functioning at its calm, confident self.
