Yes, there seems to be a light at the end of the tunnel as numbers of COVID cases slow down in some regions of the country and permissions are being given to step outside.
As I navigate the world that my clients have been in for the last 4 to 7 weeks, I am acutely aware that there are some specific things I am recommending that are helping people live a tiny bit out of the fear zone and into the growth zone. Here is a short list:
1. Stick to a routine. This is imperative. Keep sleep to wake up regulated so that you don’t throw your whole rhythm off.
2. Do at least a half an hour of movement every day. This will keep your body supple and you will sleep better when you exercise regularly. Exercise also removes the toxins that stress brings to the body. Lots of exercise gurus are offering free YouTube exercise videos. Take advantage of those and you may find that the silver lining in this is that you develop autonomy in your movement routines. I personally prefer to call exercise “movement routines!” There is less pressure involved when movement is a part of my daily routine.
3. Get out for a bit every day and make sure you keep social distance. Do not be fearful and remain stuck in the house. You need the Vitamin D for good brain functioning. Breathing fresh air also keeps the lungs healthy!
4. Get properly dressed every day as you used to before the quarantine. Do not stay in the same sweats or exercise gear. There is an association your mind will make just remaining in your pajamas every day. Sleep will be harder at night if you stay in your jammies all day.
5. Eat well and especially hydrate well. Just because you are indoors does not mean that the body does not need hydration. The more water you drink the healthier you are keeping your body and you are removing toxins from your body. The additional stress we are currently experiencing tends to create more toxins in the brain.
6. Since so many family members are in the same quarters all day, find a way to negotiate some separate space in the home so that you have some quiet time of solitude. During this quiet time consider meditation or listening to music that is soothing for you. Don’t feel guilty if you just need to disappear from the family for an hour or so. We ALL need rejuvenation time. When you take the time, you come back feeling recharged and ready to go! Also make some cozy places for the children where they can retreat and have some quiet, creative playtime.
7. For those of you who are parents, this is really the time to dial into your children. Children feel a lot and may not have the language to express it. If you find that they are acting out more then that means that they are struggling. Notice the themes they may have in their play – doctors, illness, fears. Some children may even have nightmares. Know that this is a temporary reaction they are having to the heightened fear they are sensing in the air.
8. Be prepared for behavioral issues among your children. If parents are anxious, which we expect you to be considering the uncertainty, then expect the children to be pushing the boundaries and being more defiant than normal. Imagine how things are for them, the losses that they are experiencing too. They may not be able to really make sense of why they cannot have playdates and go to school. All their predictables have been yanked away from them too.
9. This is such a critical time to focus on emotional safety, attachment and really getting down and real with all family members. We are probably still going to have another few weeks in this quarantined space. Focus on the fact that this unpredictable time is very unsettling for everyone so do your best to bring kindness, compassion, gentleness, and not get overly focused on getting “work” done. Minimize expectations on what will be done in this time period. Practice the growth mindset, which gives us loads of room to learn from obstacles and failures. Have a lot of acceptance about the fact that there is no road map for this unprecedented time and event that we are in, and that there will be many things we will not do well!
10. Try as much as possible to look for stories of kindness, generosity and simple joys. Read about those stores, things that are on Karma Tube, or Uplift that give you aspirational things to focus on versus COVID stories. Totally limit news. This is a HUGE recommendation. Give yourself maybe 5 to 10 minutes per day to get caught up. Try to figure out things that you and your family can do for others and that will really help feel good about this time we are in. Giving back brings out our generous spirit, calms us down and gives everyone purpose.
11. Monitor the amount of news you watch and reduce it to less than 5 to 10 minutes per day. You will know all there is to know by catching the headlines at the top of the hour on a radio station. Do not get absorbed in visual images on the news etc. The more you expose yourself to the numbers and the data about COVID, the more fearful you will be. Fear impairs our immune system and we need to do everything we can to keep the parasympathetic system active.
12. The brain will absolutely love you if you take this time to learn something new that you always wanted to learn. Babble is offering free language programs. Take guitar lessons on YouTube if you always wanted to. Start a long term project that will keep you busy and distracted. And in true self-compassion fashion, if you have been immobilized and have not been able to start a new project, so be it! Practice loads of self-compassion and kindness to self.
13. Since we are feeling such a loss of control at so many levels, take on something that you can really control like organize a closet, clean out that junk drawer, grow the plants you have wanted to, clean the front area of your street if there is something there that has really bothered you! If your garage is a project that has been too daunting, take it on now. There is enough time to complete it.
14. One of the best ways we can bring self-regulation in a moment of crisis is by doing left-right movements – such as knitting, making a cross-stitch pillow, word searches, crossword puzzles, jump roping, walking on your treadmill, really putting “one foot in front of the other”. These left-right movements bring back the balance and bilaterality in the brain.
15. As much as possible try to focus on the good you see in the world. Fear wants to hijack us into dark stories. Look for the good you seem to see around you and your nervous system will immediately calm down. Anxiety is a very contagious condition and you can choose calm over anxiety by looking for good.
16. In looking for good also try to find humor. Binge-watch those cute cat videos, find funny sayings and pass them around to your friends. Why do you think TikTok has taken off so much during COVID?! Families are bonding over the dance videos they are creating.
17. Each day remind yourself that this is temporary, this too shall pass. It is a season of life and we will come out at the other end. Breathe, give yourself permission to stay in the here and now, and give yourself kindness and gentleness. We will return to feeling safe, free and connected.
18. You may be among the group of people who are still working, and hence please don’t have expectations of yourself to be doing more than you already are. Be satiated with your schedule. Try not to compare yourself with others on social media. Just as we are unique in our interests, we all will be doing different things to try to capture some sanity in this unusual time.
19. Allow yourself to be comfortable with the notion that you are grieving in this very turbulent time. We are ALL grieving, we have lost so much with our freedoms being at the top of the pyramid. The grief and trauma we are all experiencing is very real, present and big. In working with trauma survivors, we have found that when a crisis like this seems senseless and maybe avoidable, we have to begin to look for the meaning and create purpose out of such tragic events. It is a very significant time for us to ask ourselves – what am I learning out of this, in big ways and small ways? What can I do without and what felt most important to me at this time? What needs to change in our family, our home, our communities, our nation and our world? What are the lessons I wish to tease out of this?
20. Victor Frankl’s book Man’s Search for Meaning and Elizabeth Kubler Ross’s Stages of Grieving are two books that may be just the antidote that we need to take this journey to a more spiritual level.
At Healthy Within, we are committed to supporting the emotional health of our community during COVID-19. Healthy Within is an integrative brain health center, experienced in helping people re-engage in their wholeness and wellness. We help clients with anxiety, ADHD, PTSD, depression, concussions, OCD, stroke, dementia and more.
Contact us for more information about how we can help you get your mind back to functioning at its calm, confident self.
